Strong enough to do it alone. But should you?

I want to start with a question before I say anything else.
When was the last time you asked for help... and actually waited for it?
Sit with that for a second.

What your independence might be costing you.

OK YOU KNOW ME BY NOW... LONG POST... GRAB A COFFEE!

I came across something recently that stopped me mid-scroll. A comedian named KevOnStage was talking about men who love hyper-independent women, and while it was hilarious, one comment in the thread hit different.

The reel highlights how someone responded to his post with this:

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“Fellas, we be measuring wrong. We’re measuring from when she asked. She’s measuring from when she first considered asking — three business days ago. By the time the request reaches us, she’s already lost an internal debate, swallowed her pride and decided to be vulnerable.”

I literally had to read that twice. Because I know that woman.

I’ve been that woman.

And here’s what I realized — that voice he’s describing?

The one that says “never mind, I got it”? It doesn’t just show up in our romantic relationships. It shows up in our friendships... and even in our faith. And if we’re not careful… in how we raise our children.

I had a moment in my own kitchen recently that brought this all home.

I asked my kids for help; nothing major. One to empty the dishwasher. The other to grab a few things from the fridge and panty. Simple. Small.

But as they dragged their feet, something in me just… moved. Before they’d finished the first task, I was already deep into homemade juice, short ribs, and risotto.

No anger. No resentment. Just muscle memory.

And then I had to sit with the quiet truth of it:

I had stepped around them without even meaning to.

And in doing so, I may have taught them (without saying a single word) that their help wasn’t worth waiting for.

For the woman who has always figured it out herself, here’s what the Word says:

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“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Stillness isn’t passivity, it’s intentional trust in our Father. For those of us who have carried too much, being still can feel like failing. But God names it as knowing Him.

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“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

You can’t cast what you’re already doing yourself. This verse assumes you’ve paused long enough to feel the weight of what you’re holding.

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“Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

God designed us for interdependence, not independence. And our children need to see us receive help, not just give it. So here’s the gentle question I’m leaving with you... and with myself:

What if the most powerful thing we could do today isn’t to push through?

What if it’s to pause?

Not because we can’t handle it. We clearly can. But because together is what God intended. And because the people in our lives (our children, our partners, our community) need to know their presence matters. That we’ll wait. That we want the help.

Patience, in these moments, isn’t weakness.

It’s a declaration of faith.

A simple prayer

Lord, show me where I’ve confused strength with self-sufficiency. Teach me to pause, in prayer, in motherhood, in the everyday moments where I reach to do it myself before I’ve given You, or the people You’ve placed in my life, a chance to show up.

Amen.

If this resonated, I’d love to know. Hit reply and tell me.

Where does that “never mind, I got it” voice show up most for you?

P.S. — If you want the full laugh before the conviction, look up KevOnStage on Instagram or Threads. I've posted the link below as well as another treat (a Retreat really).